


Elevator Hottie

by avengersincamphalfbloodstardis



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU prompt, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Based on a Tumblr Post, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Snark, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 06:20:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5280017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengersincamphalfbloodstardis/pseuds/avengersincamphalfbloodstardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘we take the same elevator every day and due to a misunderstanding I assumed you didn’t speak english and I’ve been talking to my friend about how hot you are for three weeks and apparently my friend has known from the start but you agreed not to tell me bc you both think its hilarious what the fuck’ au<br/>based on this <a href="http://avengersincamphalfbloodstardis.tumblr.com/post/133890328651/theappleppielifestyle-i-got-in-my-car-and-you">post</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Elevator Hottie

**Author's Note:**

> So, of course, Bucky speaks Russian and Clint is the idiot that thinks he can't understand as he talks about how hot Bucky is. This means that for a big portion of the fic, people are speaking Russian. I don't speak Russian myself, so I am at the mercy of Google Translate. All translations are after the dialogue (which is obv written in Russian) and are italicized. Any readers out there that speak Russian and notice that I could use a better/different translation, feel free to let me know in the comments! Other than that little note, I hope you enjoy!

The first time Clint saw the “Super Hot Guy with the Dark Brooding Look and a Fucking Ponytail Are You Kidding Me Why is That Hot™” as he shall henceforth be known, it was not his best day.

He was running late to see Natasha due to a pants mishap (they’d caught on fire. don’t ask) a coffee incident (he’d spilled it all over himself) and a problem with a hair straightener (not even gonna talk about it. it was all Kate’s fault anyways.)

He was sprinting to her office, getting a lot of weird looks.

Yeah, with the burnt pants, the coffee stain on his shirt, and the singed hair, he didn’t look great.

He burst into the lobby of her building, and scanned for elevators available.

One whose doors were just closing was near by. He ran and slid between the doors just in time.

It was mostly empty; just one guy.

This guy though... fuck. He was one of the hottest guys Clint had ever seen. He had on tight jeans, a dark green shirt, and a leather jacket. A pair of silver aviators dangled from the neck of his shirt. His dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail with a few strands falling around his face.

Any other day, Clint would have said a one liner and waited for the inevitable shoot down (his one liners were not the best) but before he could, he caught sight of his reflection in the reflective surface of the elevator wall.

Clint didn’t have a lot of self esteem, but attempting to hit on a fucking gorgeous guy while he looked like this was not going to do wonders for it.

So he just coughed and gave a quick smile awkwardly before checking for his button. Elevator Hottie had already pressed the number Clint needed so there was no need to converse.

They stood in silence as the elevator ascended. It seemed to take forever, but then, it always took a long time; Natasha’s work building was one of the tallest in the city and she was on the top floor.

Just as Clint was thinking maybe he would hit on the guy just to break the unbearable silence, Elevator Hottie’s phone started to ring.

He pulled it out of his (skin tight jesus) jeans and hit the answer button.

“Привет Steve,” he said. “Да, я нахожусь на моем пути вверх.”  _Hey Steve. Yeah, I'm on my way up._

Oh. The guy didn’t even speak english. Well, there goes any interaction Clint might have had with him. Despite being friends with Natasha for years, he had never learned much Russian, beyond “Hello” and “Can I pet your dog?” He knew Natasha liked to have her language to herself, something that she could use to say the things she wanted to say without the issue of him responding.

The guy gave Clint the side eye and Clint smiled on reflex.

“Um,” Elevator Hottie said and Clint wanted to kick himself. “Там это милый парень, справа от меня, но он выглядит, как он был плохой день. Наверное, не хотят, чтобы получить удар по незнакомцем на вершине всего этого.”  _There's a cute guy to my right but he looks like he's having a bad day. Probably doesn't want to get hit on by a stranger on top of all that._

Clint was so screwed. This guy was already so hot, but the way his Russian sounded... All gravely and rough.

He might not make it through the rest of the elevator ride.

“Слушай, я буквально в лифте. Увидимся в секунду,” Elevator Hottie said. “Хорошо пока.”  _Look, I'm literally in the elevator. I'll see you in a second. Okay, bye._

He hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket.

Finally, finally, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

There was Natasha, talking with a buff blond guy with an easy smile.

“Hey Bucky,” he said, grinning at Elevator Hottie.

Natasha smiled thinly at Clint’s appearance.

Elevator Hottie-Bucky nodded curtly and stayed in the elevator.

Clint walked over to Natasha as Blondie got in the elevator with Bucky.

“Who was that?” he asked her.

“Tony’s boyfriend, Steve,” she said. “They were having lunch together.” She cast a disdainful look to Tony’s closed door. “Among other things they were having together.”

Clint laughed. “You didn’t have to listen, did you?”

“Fortunately, Pepper left me a CD of her favorite classical scores,” she said. “The whole floor got to listen to Waltz of the Snowflakes blasting on repeat for a half an hour.”

She looked him up and down, expression similar to when she had looked at Tony’s door. “Would it kill you to look like a normal human being for a day?”

“Hey, you’re lucky I even got here on time,” Clint said. “I had to run.”

“You’re three minutes late,” Natasha said, checking her watch.

It was pretty important that Natasha kept time, since she was Tony’s “Personal Assistant.” (Which was code for bodyguard. Tony liked to have her as his secret weapon for any baddies that might think they’ve passed the worst of it if they slip security. Those guys get a nice surprise in the form of Natasha.) She had to be on time with her breaks or leave Tony without protection, which she didn’t want to do. Tony wasn’t kidding when he said he needed to hire her. There were actual bad guys out to get him and his superior tech.

“Well, we better get going before we waste all of your lunch,” Clint said.

“We’ll take Tony’s elevator, it’s faster.” she said, pressing the button on a red and gold elevator next to the normal one.

They got in and Natasha pressed the ground floor button. One second they were still, in the next, they dropped.

Clint let out a small shriek and clutched his messenger bag to his chest. He prepared his final will and testament in his head, hoping that he would have enough lucidity to relay it to Natasha while he was suffering from his heart attack.

He was doubled over, panting and wheezing, when the doors opened while Natasha stood unfazed next to him. Which was probably not doing anything for his image.

She just rolled her eyes and exited the elevator, Clint stumbling as he followed her.

“I’m dying,” he said. “I’m literally dying.”

“Not in the building,” Natasha replied. “Visitor dies in Stark Building is not a good headline.”

“Glad to know you care,” Clint said.

Lunch turned into coffee and a muffin, which Clint paid for as an apology for being late.

He promised to take her out to lunch on Friday and to be on time with minimal stains on his clothing.

***

On Friday, Clint was early, having left a half an hour before he was supposed to. He wasn’t risking being late to lunch today.

He was still a few minutes early, so he didn’t bother rushing to the elevator.

He strode in, pressed his button and leaned back against the wall.

Just as the doors were closing, a hand stopped them.

Clint’s heart nearly stopped when he caught sight of Elevator Hottie better known as Bucky came through.

Bucky nodded at him and Clint smiled in what he was sure was a creepy smile. Not what he had intended.

Bucky checked that his button was pressed and stood off to the side, in front of Clint.

Clint’s phone started buzzing and he pulled it out, checking the name.

“Hey Nat, I’m on my way up,” he said.

“Oh good,” she said. “Are you dressed appropriately?”

“Define appropriately.”

She laughed.

“By the way,” he continued. “You know your boss’s boyfriend’s friend?”

“Bucky?” she said.

“Yes, but I can’t say that because he’s in here with me.”

“Then why are you talking about him?” Natasha asked. “You think he won’t figure it out? You’re not subtle.”

“No, it’s cool,” Clint said. “He doesn’t speak english.”

“Oh yeah, Steve mentioned his Russian friend.”

“Yeah, but did he mention how hot he was?”

“No he did not,” Clint could picture the quirk of her lips. “But then again, it would be weird if a guy in a relationship mentioned how hot his friend was.”

“Okay, but he is so hot.”

“Clint, I’ve seen him.”

“Yes, but have you really seen him?” Clint leaned back against the wall again. “He’s got that brooding thing going on, which I never knew I liked. And his ponytail. Why is that hot?”

“That’s great Clint, thanks for sharing.”

“And I’m not telling you how I know this,” he said, turning his head on an angle. “But his ass is to die for.”

“Tell me you’re not checking out his ass as we speak.”

“You know me so well.”

“Don’t tell me any more. I’ll see you in a minute.”

“See you.”

Clint shoved his phone back in his pocket and spent the rest of the elevator ride checking out Bucky’s ass.

The door opened and Clint slid past Bucky with one last look at his ass.

There was Steve, talking to Natasha again.

Behind him, Bucky said intensely, “Получить здесь, я должен сказать вам что-то сейчас.”  _Get in here, I have to tell you something now._

“Я иду,” Steve said. “Good seeing you again Natasha.”  _I'm coming._

“You too, Steve,” Nat said. “See you next week.”

“Hey Tash,” Clint grinned. “Were they having “lunch” again?”

She made a face. “Today I played “No. 9 - Finale Swan Theme.””

He laughed. “Ready for lunch?”

***

“Katie Kate,” Clint said as he walked into his apartment.

“Hey,” she said, rounding the corner. She tossed him a beer.

“Thanks,” he said.

“How was lunch?” she asked, dropping onto his couch.

“Good,” he said, sitting next to her. “I saw Elevator Hottie again.”

“Bucky?” she said.

“That’s the one,” he said. “He needs to stop wearing those skinny jeans or I’m going to spontaneously combust all over that elevator.”

“That’s gross,” Kate said. “Are you gonna make a move on him?”

“I told you, he doesn’t speak english.”

“There are other ways,” Kate said, standing up. She began to swivel her hips, grinning lewdly. “Never underestimate the importance of bo-dy lang-uage.” She accentuated the last four syllables with a swing of her hips.

“That’s gross,” Clint said, throwing a pillow at her. “Isn’t that from The Little Mermaid?”

“And they say that kid’s movies are just now getting sexual,” Kate said, nodding solemnly.

Clint rolled his eyes and tipped his beer back into his mouth.

“Listen,” Kate hugged the throw pillow to her. “You’ve just gotta make it clear that you think he’s hot.”

“How do I do that without being creepy?”

Kate took a swig of beer and shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t know that.”

“Thanks, that’s helpful.”

***

“Hey, I’m coming to pick you up,” Clint said on his way to the elevator.

“But it’s not Wednesday,” Nat said.

“I know, but Kate and I were talking-”

“No,” Nat said. “Absolutely not.”

“C’mon Tash,” Clint pressed the button. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

“You cannot just come get me for lunch every day in the hopes that you see Steve’s hot friend.”

“How dare you?” Clint said in mock outrage, pressing the open door button and scanning the lobby for Bucky. “I love you and cherish you and I want to spend this time with you and I...” He smiled triumphantly. “Gotta go.”

Bucky slid in the door.

Clint grinned broadly at him, pushing his phone into his pocket.

A look of bemusement passed over Bucky’s face. A small smile flickered at his lips and he turned to press the button.

Clint reveled in his small victory and did a quick once over on Bucky. Man, he’d missed that ass.

Then, Clint’s phone rang again and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Hey Katie.”

“Is he there?” she asked.

“Yep,” Clint said with a smile.

She did a little happy shriek and Clint pulled the phone away from his ear, making a face. “Did you do anything? Wiggle your hips a little?”

“I smiled,” Clint said.

“Well, what good is that gonna do anybody?” she said. “Nobody gets laid off a smile! Speak the language of looooove.”

“I’m pretty sure the language of love is french.”

“I’m pretty sure for you, it’s russian.”

He laughed. “Yeah, well, I’ll let you know if my hips learn any Russian.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. Love you.”

“You too.”

He put his phone back in his pocket and looked up to see Bucky watching him out of the corner of his eye.

He grinned again, trying to put a little smolder to it.

The smile flickered again and Bucky turned forward.

The elevator opened and there was Natasha and Steve.

Steve’s eyes flickered from Bucky to Clint, a slow smile spreading. “Опять же, да?”  _Again, huh?_

Bucky nodded.

“Hey Tash,” Clint said. “Ready for lunch?”

“Sure,” she said. “We can all just ride down together.”

The two of them got in the elevator.

The first few moments were silent, the four of them standing there awkwardly.

After a minute, Bucky spoke.

“Вы должны сказать своему другу, что он не должен говорить о людях, где они могут слышать его,” he said, staring straight ahead.  _You should tell your friend he shouldn't talk about people where they can hear him._

A small smile pulled at Natasha’s lips. “Я мог бы, но я думаю, что это гораздо больше удовольствия, этот путь.”  _I could, but I think it is much more fun this way._

Bucky chuckled. “Тогда, возможно, вы могли бы сказать ему, что я думаю, что его задницу тоже очень приятно.”  _Then perhaps you could tell him I think his ass is also very nice._

Natasha sniffed. “Я не сделаю ничего подобного. Его голова является достаточно большим, как она есть.” _I will do no such thing. His head is big enough as it is._

Steve and Bucky both laughed at that.

When the doors opened Bucky and Natasha exchanged nods and they all left.

“What did you guys say?” Clint demanded. “Oh no. You seduced him didn’t you? You spoke Russian together and now you’re in love.”

“Calm down,” Nat said. “I did not seduce him.”

“Are you sure?” Clint asked worriedly.

“Don’t you think I would know if I seduced someone?” Natasha grinned.

Clint laughed. “I guess so.”

***

“Stop. Coming. Here.” Natasha said into the phone. “I’m serious. We’ve had lunch every day this week. And every time you come, you call me and tell me about how hot Bucky is while he’s standing next to you. I’m getting tired of you.”

“You would never,” Clint said, swinging into the elevator and lifting himself to sit up on the bar, pressing his feet on the opposite wall. “Besides, if you’re sick of me, why did you come to dinner with me and Katie later those days?”

“Because I was hungry and I enjoy Kate.”

“Thanks,” Clint said, toeing the open door button. “But you know that I have to come and woo the Russian beauty.”

“As sweet as that nickname is, you may not call me it again.”

“Bucky,” Clint said.

“Да?”  _Yes?_

Clint’s gaze snapped upwards. There stood Bucky, eyebrows raised.

The doors slid shut behind them and they stared at each other.

“Sorry,” Clint said dumbly. “I don’t speak Russian.”

A smirk came over Bucky’s face. “Это очевидно.”  _That much is obvious._

Clint just stared at him.

After a beat, Bucky chuckled, shaking his head and turned around. He pressed the button.

As the elevator lurched upwards, Bucky came to stand beside Clint, leaning up against the wall.

Without looking at Clint, he said, “Я не думаю, что Natasha сказал вам, но я также думаю, что вы очень привлекательны.”  _I don't suppose Natasha told you, but I also think you are very attractive._

The only thing Clint recognized was Natasha’s name. “Um...”

Bucky looked at him, a small smile toying at his lips. “Когда вы поймете, что я говорю на английском, я буду просить вас.”  _When you figure out I speak English, I will ask you out._

Clint was lost in his blue eyes. “Okay.”

Bucky laughed and looked back ahead.

Clint suddenly felt as if there had been a huge joke that he had not been let in on.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Bucky still smiling and Clint rather dumbstruck.

The doors opened and there was Steve and Natasha, just like always.

They smiled at Bucky and Clint, conversation trailing off.

“Сказали вы ему, что вы говорите по-английски еще?” Steve asked.  _Have you told him you speak English yet?_

Bucky grinned. “Нет, я думал, что я дал бы ему вкус его собственной медицины и поговорить о том, как мило он, когда он не понимает.”  _No. I thought I would give him a taste of his own medicine and talk about how cute he is when he doesn't understand._

“Но ты понимаешь,” Natasha said, with a furrow between her eyebrows.  _But you did understand._

Bucky waved his hand dismissively. “Семантика.”  _Semantics._

Steve and Natasha both rolled their eyes-and wasn’t that creepy-before getting into the elevator with them.

“Вы заметили, руки?” Bucky said to Steve.  _Have you noticed his arms?_

“Urgh,” Natasha said and Bucky grinned.

“Да ладно, дайте мне поговорить о нем, как он сделал мне,” he said.  _C'mon, let me talk about him like he did me._

“Когда он это сделал, я не должен был слышать,” she countered.  _When he did it, I didn't have to hear it._

He laughed. “Тогда, кто именно он пел мне дифирамбы в?”  _Then exactly who was he singing my praises to?_

She shrugged. “Иногда мне. Но я положил трубку от уха, когда он сделал. Возможно его сестра.”  _Sometimes me. But I put the phone away from my ear when he did. Probably his sister._

“У него есть сестра?” Bucky said, looking at her. When he did, a small lock of hair swung forward across his face and Clint swallowed.  _He has a sister?_

Natasha smirked. “Может быть, вы могли бы спросить его о ней, когда вы идете на первом свидании.”  _Perhaps you could ask him about her when you go on your first date._

Bucky chuckled. “Я полагаю, вы правы.”  _I suppose you are right._

Clint should have learned Russian.

***

“Can you please,” Natasha said, with a hand to her temple. “For the love of god. Ask Bucky out.”

Clint looked at her. “How am I supposed to ask him out? We don’t even speak the same language.”

“Почему я?” she muttered. “If you would just try-” _Why me?_

Kate shook her head. “Nope. Already tried the body language thing. Clint sucks at it.”

“That is not what I was going to suggest,” Nat said. “I would never suggest that Clint use body language.”

Kate laughed through a mouthful of food.

“That’s disgusting,” Clint said, giving her a dirty look. And then he pointed his fork at Nat. “And that is mean.”

“Wait!” Kate said. “I’ve got it!”

She turned to Natasha. “Teach him a few Russian sentences.”

Nat looked at her dully. “What?”

“Teach him how to ask Bucky out!” Kate said. “Just a few simple sentences.”

Natasha facepalmed.

***

Clint was incredibly nervous as he stepped into the elevator.

He stepped back and leaned against the wall. Then stepped forward and stuck his hands in his pockets. Then he went to the middle. Then the corner.

What did he do with his hands?!

He muffled a shriek as Bucky stepped into the elevator with a quick, amused smile at Clint.

“Доброе утро великолепный,” he said, leaning up against the wall and looking over at Clint. “Есть ли у вас какие-либо более неуклюжие комплименты для меня сегодня?”  _Good morning, gorgeous. Do you have any more bumbling compliments for me today?_

“Um,” Clint said. “Здравствуйте.”  _Hello._

The amusement on Bucky’s face flickered into bemusement before turning back into a smile. “И тебе привет, красивый.”  _And hello to you, beautiful._

“Я извиняюсь за то, что вперед,” Clint smiled weakly. “но вы бы хотели, чтобы выйти со мной?”  _I'm sorry for being so forward, but would you like to go out with me?_

The shock on Bucky’s face was evident. Then he grinned wickedly and leaned forward, looking into Clint’s eyes.

Clint almost gasped from the sudden proximity, staring at the pretty blue.

“Вы даже знаете, что вы говорите, или же ваш Наташа научит вас говорить, что?” Bucky’s eyes twinkled. “Как говорящий попугай?”  _Do you even know what you're saying or did your Natasha teach you to say that? Like a talking parrot?_

Clint gulped. “I don’t think that was a yes.”

Bucky chuckled and closed the gap.

Clint stiffened as Bucky’s mouth was suddenly on his.

Bucky’s lips were smooth and soft, but his stubble scraped against Clint’s skin.

Clint gasped and kissed him back. He still wasn’t sure what to do with his hands.

Bucky brought his hand up to Clint’s cheek and thumbed gently at his skin. His fingers were cool, sending a shiver through Clint.

Then, Bucky pulled back and leaned up against the wall again. “It was a yes.”

Clint beamed before he realized.

“You speak English?” he said slowly.

“Yes,” Bucky said.

“You speak English.”

Bucky looked at him. “Yes.”

“You speak English!” Clint shrieked.

Bucky smirked. “Yes.”

The elevator doors opened.

There was Natasha, alone at her desk.

“Hey guys,” she said, looking surprised. “Bucky, Steve’s не здесь сегодня.”  _not here today._

He grinned. “I know. I thought, if you didn’t mind, I would take Clint out to lunch.”

“Oh thank god,” she said. “Yes, please, go.”

“Fucking finally!” Tony’s voice yelled from his office.

“Stark knew?” Bucky asked.

Nat shrugged. “I guess Steve keeps him up to date.”

Bucky laughed and the elevator doors closed.

There was a pause.

“You speak English!”

***

Bucky walked into Clint’s apartment, throwing his coat onto the couch. “Привет, моя дорогая, моя любовь, луна в мои звезды, красота моей зверя, самый красивый Человек- Oh.”  _Hello, my darling, my love, the moon to my stars, the beauty to my beast, the most beautiful man-_

There was Natasha, sitting on the couch, drinking a beer with Kate.

“I was not aware that there would be anyone here who could understand me,” he said stiffly.

“Beauty to your beast?” Nat took a sip of beer. “Really?”

Clint came around the corner, sipping his own beer. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Bucky went over, placed his hands on Clint’s hips, and kissed him. “Natasha is just being cruel because I love you.”

“She is being cruel because you’re a sap,” Kate said.

Bucky gave her a pointed look. “Do you understand what I say now too?”

She shrugged and took a drink of beer. “I don’t understand what you say, but I understand the way you say it.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and looked back to Clint. “So, for our year anniversary, Tony told me the best hotel in town, so I got us a room.”

Clint grinned. “Sounds good to me.”

He kissed Bucky again, ignoring Natasha’s eye rolling and Kate’s retching noises.

“And maybe, if you want, for old time’s sake,” Bucky leaned in and whispered against Clint’s ear. “Мы могли бы трахнуть в лифте.”  _We could fuck in the elevator._

He kissed Clint again, ignoring Natasha’s shriek of horror as she clapped her hands to her ears.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been awhile since I wrote a Bucky/Clint fic so I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave comments and kudos if you liked it<3 xoxo


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